Crashed in Bucharest for a few days …. kind of nice actually, to just walk around and not worry about the little kids although I must say, they got under my skin to a larger degree than I could ever have anticipated ….. with every other volunteer post I have participated in, the children had parents to go home to every night and that …. makes all the difference in the world! All the volunteers here end up being temporary mommies and daddies …. you would need to have a heart of stone, to not have that affect you in some way …. there are currently five other volunteers, young people in their twenties, heading to St. Nick’s as I type and hopefully, they will love the children as deeply as I came to do ….. it is the best one can hope for. I was but a ripple in their pond and monthly, new ripples appear …. is it enough to give them some kind of comfort in a world that has basically abandoned them for having been born “imperfect” …..

So, here I am, currently in Humor Monasterie in Bucovina, Moldavia somewhere in Romania!! On Monday morning, Alex Nagy, man of many hats … wilderness guide, mountaineer, full time employee for Search and Rescue, Romania, travel guide for a local travel agency, and for the next eight days, a part time guide and driver for a Canadian lady, wishing to explore the back roads of his country … that would be me! …… Alex is also a history buff extraordinnaire …. my mind is swimming with Romania’s historical lore and loving every moment of it, even if most of it blows out shortly after it blows in 🙂 ……. have landed in some kind of crazy travel heaven …. exploring medieval towns … villages, painted monasteries, fortified churches of every description, town squares dating hundreds of years! Apparently HRH Bonnie Prince Charlie, together with renowned Romanian poet, Mihai Eminescu have formed a trust to restore these old medieval villages to their former lustre …. it is a monumental task, but I was thrilled to sleep in this first village of Viscri, that Charlie signed on for and indeed, I may even have slept in the same guest house he toured! Walter, the owner, is of Saxon/German heritage, has had family living in the village of 400 people, for over 800 years!!! Historical heaven, as I said …. more later ….. enjoy some of my pictorial review of Viscri and area, including the little guest room in a house as old as any I have had the pleasure to visit. Walter, who speaks excellent English, laughed heartily when I told him I may develop gypsy fingers when it comes to all the old weavings, pottery, and various handworked goods in my room ….

These pictures are for a former volunteer, Michelle who would love to adopt Delia, but international adoption is not so easy …….

Got up early one morning to catch a few pictures of my surroundings from the past few weeks …. The market outside the hotel, where I caught a fellow buying his dinner … Live chickens. The Roma gypsies and one of their homes, quite ornate buildings, scattered throughout the country … They often dress in the colorful clothing of their Indian ancestry ….. the women leave their hair long and braided as do women in India.

On my last days at St. Nicks, I walked along main street, looking for bubble makers for the kids … made for delightful fun for us all!! The smallest squealed, the older ones tried to catch the bubbles …. Stephan, my trusty six year old assistant, ran in to help …. these simple pleasures of childhood … not always available for these little ones of Romania’s placement centers! The children appeared more subdued, my last day …. They sensed, as children always do, when someone will be leaving …. this revolving and steady stream of volunteers is what they know and they have adjusted to goodbyes on a monthly basis. The concerns I voiced before coming here have not left me ….. I know the value of consistency in a child’s formative years. Perhaps that consistency is what Coca, Mihaela, Dan, their daughter, Delia provide …….. Delia goes regularly on days off from school, to read to the children, feed them and just play …. she is their big sister! The children, in a very short period of time, have woven themselves into my heart and saying goodbye was far harder than I had anticipated. A few short weeks ago, they were strangers. My goal of living from the heart continues … It is rarely an easy path ….

Mihaela, Delia and Dan had me over for a delicious chicken roast dinner for our last meal together …. they live in a two bedroom flat, as do most people living in the cities and larger towns of Romania. Most buildings are from the communist era …. Lots of concrete …… houses are the norm in villages. For the slowly emerging affluent business owners, professionals and politicians, the suburbs, even in small town Birlad, are developing rapidly enough and there is a scattering of large homes and more on the horizon … times catch up with everyone I suppose.

As I waited for Dan to pick me up on the weekend for the long drive to Bucharest, I realized I had left my moccasins at the hospital …. I grabbed a cab, picked up my slippers from first floor volunteer room ……. stood for a moment, sorely tempted to run up the two more flights to see the children just once more …. took a lot of restraint not to do so …. It would have been cruel to stop for only a few minutes …. expectation would have been high to have me take them all to a park, as I had been doing all along in the mornings …. I could not do it, just to satisfy my own selfish desire to hold the children once more. Sad morning for me.

Explored Iasi, a two hour train ride away last weekend, and it’s myriad of monasteries, churches, attractive architecture, bucolic parks, university buildings and grounds. It is Romania’s largest university town, in it’s poorest region. Walked everywhere, inhaling the atmosphere and the fresh spring air! …. This is backtracking somewhat from my journal entries, but forgot to jot down what a joy it was to explore another part of this country and at this time of year! Calgary seems to frequently miss out on one of the most glorious seasons ….. melodious song birds, wildflowers, potted plants in bloom along boulevards, patios and balconies ….. the bright lime green of early spring growth everywhere, sidewalk cafes chock full of folks enjoying afternoon coffees, cakes and hefty mugs of Romanian Ursus beer …. It is just such a delightful swish of spiritual fresh air …. I didn’t realize how much I needed a break from both the children and the hospital, until I had been on the train for well over an hour and had unconsciously let out a big heaving sigh, startling the passenger beside me ……. but by late Sunday night, my thoughts meandered back to these dear little needy children ….. they all could benefit from simply being held snugly for hours every day …. Those little hands grasp mine like a lifeline and perhaps that is what a volunteer indeed is to these children … Delia, Alina, Ion, Luca, Sami, Marian ( big and little one ), Gabi, Maiastra, and on Thursday, one year old Lavinia joined our troops, who is another child with down’s syndrome, cleft palate issues and sleeps more than anything else … much like a newborn.

“FOR EVERY LOVE, THERE IS A HEART SOMEWHERE TO RECEIVE IT”. Ivan Panin

Another beautiful sunny hot day in Birlad, as I walk my familiar twenty minute stroll to St. Nicholas this morning, stopping enroute to pick up some kleenex and baby wipes ….. Coca, our local Global Volunteer nurse’s aide, scares me half to death as I turned the corner to the hospital ….. she came up behind me, grabbing my arm, with a squeal of delight to see me walking …. she had just jumped off a bus from Tutova, a nearby town ……. I think of Coca, as our wing angle ….. she is a darling sweet, kind soul and so good with the children. As we enter our wing of the hospital together arm in arm, we find, after a weekend away, the children all appear quiet and subdued … we both get busy, prepping for the day (neither of us speaks the language of the other but somehow we have come to speak the same language of the heart and work well together) …… shortly after a bit of organizing and as I am feeding little Marian his morning bottle …… ‘little tiny 2 point something kilo Marian’ who is six months old or thereabouts, I notice a gentleman hulking about patiently watching from the hallway ….. I remembered him from my first day …. he is, as far as anyone knows, the father of young Marian ….. he appears far too old to be a father (but I have noted that people here appear older than they really are and my host Dan, tells me that life expectancy is somewhere in the vicinity of 70 in Romania …… a diet high in meat doesn’t help!) …… Rumor has it that the government will pay a healthy supplement to anyone who commits to looking after their own handicapped child ….. and that quite possibly this father is considering taking on his child for that reason, but intuitively, I think that is not his only motivation. In six months, no one has ever seen the mother but apparently, this gent has come by often in the past six months. I observed him on my first day, before I got to know the children or anyone here really, and I judged him to be a very gentle soul, full of kindness and love for who we believe is his child. As I have come to know his son, Marion, I see some of that same personality in the wee one. When I held him this morning, Marian took forever to finish his bottle of formula …. at least three times as long as normal …. he kept studying my face, listening to my chatter as I fed him. I alternate between singing Finnish folk songs, nursery rhymes and telling him what a lovely child he is ….. it is a special kind of sweetness, as he watches me …. an old soul is hiding in those very expressive eyes ……. yes, premature, underdeveloped, physically and mentally delayed, I know!!! But I find Marion fascinating ….. I have grown to love him. I had no idea that he was being taken away this morning and as I saw Coca getting Marion bundled up while I continued feeding the other children, I asked in English, what was going on? ….. all she could say was “Marion go papa” ….. I asked “go where?” ….. a rambling of Romanian followed, none of which I understood, so I ran into the hallway, just barely catching Marion leaving with his father. With a lot of hand signing and me jabbering away with three words of Romanian mixed with tears, I showed him how Marion likes to be held close in your arms, near the heart with the bottle angled “just so” …… oh the dear man … thank God for this understanding gentle soul, but still, he must have thought me mad! But I believe through it all, on some level, he understood. I plunged forward, instinct guiding me, realizing I am breaking all kinds of protocol and despite the cool nature of Romanians in general, I hugged him tight with Marion between us …… he was probably as surprised as I, and tears came into his ears, mixing with mine. I kissed the little duffer good bye and turned back to the other little ones …… a funny kind of happiness tinged in sadness settled in for a good part of my day …… a few picture of young Marian below ……

“To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten” …… or in the case of these little abandoned children of St. Nicholas Hospital in Birlad, Romania, those who have barely had the opportunity to hear even the first notes of their heart’s song, help them discover it.

My days in Birlad would appear to follow a predictable pattern, not a few days into my posting …… but every day, I start out with a hopeful heart that my impact will produce a smile, a laugh, a contented sigh, or really any kind of response from the children! These are not big reward wishes by any means, but It is enough …

Little tiny Marian (a boy’s name in Romania) weighs about 2.2 kilos at 6 months of age, snuggles into my arm when I feed him his bottle, with such a happy expression on his face, as though I am the queen in his life …… he is so easy to please …… love and attention, all he requires from me …… the nurses and aides tend to the daily grind of diapers, baths, food preparation etc. …… when I attempt to put Marian down in his crib, his kitten like cries start up ….. I pick him up and carry him around, nestled happily in the crook of my arm as I tend to the others as best I can while keeping him close. A little bit of juggling is always in order. Marian is happy as a baby can be:) I cannot leave him crying, not in my DNA to do so ….. he was a premature baby, a fetal alcohol syndrome child, as are most of the children in varying degrees and need human touch so very much ….. where is the education for teenagers on this issue? It is no great secret that the majority of parents of these abandoned children are indeed teenagers! …. It is my nature to attempt to dig for the root of a problem …..

The sweetheart of the ward, one year old Delia is so bright and so normal in developmental milestones mentally, but alas, she has stunted limbs which will make life that much harder for her and basically, she is unadoptable, if there is such a term …. everyone loves her but she continues to live at Sr. Nicholas. ….. I hold this little child and love is all I feel …. She is very very affectionate, making that easy to do! ….. I like to think I helped add to her vocabulary with “mamama and nananana” but I am sure this process was started long ago with other volunteers and I was merely fortunate to be the recipient to hear it with regularity but still, I did notice the surprise the nurses displayed as Delia “nanananaed and mamamaed” in addition to her dadadadas and da’s ( da is yes in Romanian ) …. I am a great baby babbler 🙂

Two month old Ion just eats, sleeps and snuggles happily in my arms as much as possible. It is hard to determine the extent of developmental delays sustained from his birth but, I know that some of those milestones at 2 months of age are just not there ….. the nurses try hard to make sure the children all “finish those bottles of formula” …. they celebrate with a “bravo” when a bottle is finished and I know they mean well, but when a good portion of the bottle is spit up shortly after feeding, I wonder hmmmm ……. I know they do not appreciate my taking the bottles away when the children purse their mouths, seemingly refusing another drop …. I have never believed in force feeding. But again, as a transient volunteer, it is not in my position to criticize or change the system. My job is to help out as best I can.

Cleo who is mostly vegetative with so much fluid around her brain, that her head weight makes up half her weight or close to it ….. smiles occasionally but with mostly vacant eyes ….. all I can do
is stroke her little arms and legs and talk to her …. she does respond in her own way to the affection and my chatting …..

On Wednesday, four older children were brought back to St. Nicholas from a “placement center” about 20 km. away …. they are regulars at St. Nicholas but were at the center for check ups and the like for the week before I came. These centers are no longer allowed to be called orphanages ….. part of the bureaucracy since Romania was admitted into the European Union. It is highly unlikely that anyone will ever adopt these children, so they live in the “centers” .

Seven year old Marian is paralyzed from the waist down, is very small for his age, and severely mentally handicapped. I took him for a walk outside in a baby stroller ….. I simply could not watch him basically laying with little stimulation in a crib for another minute. Dan and I had quite the job getting him into it, but once in there, I pushed him around in the warm sunshine and he laughed, yes laughed, for most of the hour I had him outside. Yes, I broke the rules, and took him out of the hospital grounds …. I showed him trees, flower buds, flowers in bloom, a dog barking, leaves rustling in the breeze and I swear to God, he was in heaven … he laughed, he pulled on my hand as I showed him the bushes and leaves and connected with me …… Dan was not pleased when he could not find me as I was quite far from the hospital gates, but I was so thrilled with the response from Marian, that I kind of lost track of time and place 🙂 and would do it again in a heart beat. I have a strong tendency to break rules at times …….. I learned many years ago, that if an action has a good outcome, follow it. I may have to present a convincing argument to do so again next week 🙂

I took 6 year old Sami who has mild to medium down’s syndrome, to the hospital outdoor park ….. he squealed in delight with every new texture, every new sound, the sun on his face, the breeze in his hair ….. oh just everything. He refused to walk up or down the three flights of stairs on our first attempt (I carried him even as he struggled against me, uncertain about what was happening) ….. no elevators here …… but by the second day, after encouragement and lots of practice outside on a curb, he navigated the stairs brilliantly, trustingly holding my hand the whole way up, and asked only to be carried for the last few steps back to the hospital rooms (grunting sounds … he does not talk ….. I like to think if someone had the time for ‘one on one’ work with Sami, he would be able to speak, no matter how rudimentary!) ….. he has apparently handled stairs before in the past but not often and with just a little practice, he was able to …..

Aaah and little Alina, five years old, and another FAS child …. sweet as pie ….. loves having me brush her hair, sing to her, dance with her ….. I took her out to the hospital park as well two days in a row …… I had to ask permission from the head pediatrician to do so, for all the older children actually ……. they were not overly enthusiastic about it ….. apparently insurance issues or something …… No surprise here that I believe children need sunshine and fresh air as much as they do those bottles of formula …. they are so pale and in such need of outside stimulation and there is really no one there, short of volunteers who can possibly do this …. the nurses are stretched thin as it is. I am hoping I can continue taking them all in turn, outside this next week. Little Luca, who has a bad case of scabies at the moment, is next on my outdoor outing hit list 🙂 ….. he is a mentally and physically ( kind of go hand in hand really ) delayed three year old, does not walk yet, crawls, and is quite a handful, as I soon discovered … I took him out and let him crawl around ….. he had been banging his head against the crib in a repetitive motion and I could not bear it any longer …. he smiled as I picked him up and followed him as he scooted around in the two rooms that make up his home here at St. Nicholas. It as a delight to watch him happily going about discovering the toys, but oh boy, needs one on one attention big time! Aaah, and the scabies ….. presents a problem in such close quarters, so I understand the nurses’ concerns. So that rounds out my little darling motley crew ….. Will see what Monday brings …… late at night here in Iasi (pronounced Yash) in Northern Moldova ….. a two hour train ride from Birlad …..I arrived late Friday night …. Mihaela, Dan and their daughter Delia joined me for the day ….. a wonderful weekend to ring in my new decade of life ….. and a nice break from the hospital. Fresh air for my spirit. Hope my pictures of the weekend post okay and that there are not so many typos in this post ….. too tired to proof read and it seems my ipad does not have a spell check, or more likely, I have not discovered it 🙂 …. weak WIFI in this hotel
Love to everyone.

As I walked to the hospital today, it occurred to me how beautiful this part of Romania is … Lots of green park areas to enjoy a quiet sit down in between the sometime chaotic job of, what was today, looking after eight children, ranging in age from three months to seven years … I guess the nurses all thought I could handle it and I suppose I did, whew, a mid day break in the park was in order! I have a newfound respect for pediatric nurses working with children having severe disabilities …. I find myself lost in thought at various points during the day …… what will happen to these abandoned youngsters without the steady stream of volunteers to give them that extra attention they so sorely need? ….. Mihaela and Dan are doing an awesome job keeping everything working smoothly … My hat is off to them! One year old Delia is certainly the little darling of the ward, bright as a star, charming everyone daily …. no limbs to speak of, yet she manages more than one would imagine …. Enjoyed a May 1st outdoor barbeque at the home of Mihaela and Dan’s friends, Sandor and Lumi. … (It was a national labor day holiday here, although we still did work at the hospital during the day) …. They have a beautiful garden, blooming with early flowers of all sorts …. The temps have been hovering around 30 C since I arrived last week and everyone is taking advantage of the weather …. From Bucharest to Birlad, people are enjoying outdoor picnic lunches and dinners everywhere they can. As I review my days, I realize how lucky I am and how heartwarming it is to be included and so welcomed in this small town community …. If I remember to take my camera tomorrow, will share some town scenes in my next post.