With Brian away in Korea, and despite Linda’s kind offer to spend the evening celebrating the advent of this new year at her home, I opted for time on my own … time to reflect, to be in gratitude, to really feel and know what is important in my life … allowing for space and quiet to guide my attention to the compass of my heart. Time to reflect on the, at times, seemingly endless process of letting go … of sadness, disappointments, anger, fear, frustrations, the need to control anyone or anything!! … and oh yes, to lighten the load of that steady stream of possessions and trappings that we North Americans surround ourselves with. A major league purging is in order this year! This new year brings forth a resolve to continue embracing the good, the kindness, the simple pleasures …. something as basic as a morning ritual of yogic breathing and stretches can set that compass towards more authenticity in every area of my life. I wish to grow in kindness, lessen the sting of what at times can be a sharp tongue indeed … My zeal for honesty could be curbed with more kindness and empathy (ESPECIALLY towards the unlovable, who of course need it the most) … not everything has to be spoken out loud …. a commitment to continue trusting the process of, not only my own journey, but that of others ……. just “Let it be”, to quote John Lennon 🙂 ….. to know the joy that follows when we allow ourselves the freedom to flow …. so yes, 2013 ….. more letting go, less struggle and concern for outcomes, more joyful flow. That and …. giving myself some slack when I take a negative detour …. “To err is human, to forgive, divine” …..
It was also a good night to just hang out and watch TV, which I rarely do …. weeks go by when I barely turn it on so quite the novelty for me … I thought of a movie, but instead found the comedy channel and laughed myself silly on Russell Peter’s humour …. followed by George Carlin (have never seen him live before … rather an odd dude) …. felt unbelievably good to laugh out loud ….
It occurred to me recently, that this blog I started almost three years ago, has turned into my private little diary (doubt many if any read it when I am not travelling and writing about my global experiences yet, my thoughts at home seem somehow more profound, more interesting to me) ……. Unlike written journals, I can throw thoughts around, edit when words come out feeling false, embellished, rude or just plain stupid …… with editing, comes more clarity ….. thank goodness for iPads! Teaching me about knee jerk reactions and to think before I open my mouth, or in this case, before I peck away at this tiny ipad keyboard! So here I am, January 1, 2013 …. heart wide open, I embrace this new year …..